There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
