as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
