The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
