I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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