I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
