Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
