I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
