I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
