my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
