it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
