carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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