That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
