Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
do herpes really smell.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
