M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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