If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
someone owes me an orgasm
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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