He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
