but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
