I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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