p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
