dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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