I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
