Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
