you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
