You really coming over, don't trick.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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