I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
