Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
