Im at strip club and am horny
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
