Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
