She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
