there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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