Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
