fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
