Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
