Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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