thus making me awesome and them whores
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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