youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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