Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
