tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
