I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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