your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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