I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
