Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
