I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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