they need to just BURY HIM!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
