It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
