FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Couch. On fire.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
