Swine flu. Run for my life!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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