Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
