apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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