Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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