Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
