Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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